


Boy Meets Evil

by jimmoriartyisthebestboss



Category: Captain America (Movies), Marvel Cinematic Universe
Genre: Angst, Captain America: Civil War (Movie), Captain America: The First Avenger, Captain America: The Winter Soldier, Implied/Referenced Brainwashing, M/M, Past Brainwashing, Winter Soldier Bucky Barnes
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-01-25
Updated: 2019-01-25
Packaged: 2019-10-16 03:39:15
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,108
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17541962
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/jimmoriartyisthebestboss/pseuds/jimmoriartyisthebestboss
Summary: Thank God it was me and not you.These were the last words Bucky Barnes thought before he fell.





	Boy Meets Evil

**Author's Note:**

> Hey guys!
> 
> The title is taken from the song Intro: Boy Meets Evil by BTS. It fit well as a title for this work. 
> 
> This is not an easy work to read. It was breaking my heart editing it before posting it here. This fic was also inspired by two pictures I saw on Pinterest which you can find [here](https://www.pinterest.co.uk/pin/315111305170472547/) and [here.](https://www.pinterest.co.uk/pin/315111305174420809/)
> 
> I hope you guys enjoy!

The cold of the metal bit into Bucky’s bare hand as he gripped at the metal piece hanging on the edge of the train. Wind whistled past his ears as he gripped on as hard as he could. Shuffling and metal making contact came from inside the train and Bucky prayed, prayed that Steve was alive. When his face appeared at the door, Bucky wanted to yell at Steve to stay inside. He wasn’t worth Steve’s life, he wasn’t worth the sacrifice.

The bigger part of him though felt fear coursing through his veins as Steve came towards him. He wished for Steve to reach him, to escape this dangerous situation. A part of his brain made him take a swing at Steve’s hand and slide along the metal bar again.

“Hang on!” Steve sidled closer on the edge of the train. Bucky’s heart almost stopped at the sight of his best friend in such a dangerous situation. He wanted to yell, to tell Steve to go inside, to save himself.

“Grab my hand!” Steve’s hand thrust forward, the other wrapped around the train.

The metal screeched in protest as Bucky adjusted his weight to try to grab Steve’s hand. The end popped off and another second, he threw his hand forward.

“No!” Steve’s voice filled his ears. Then there was empty space and a scream ripped from Bucky’s lips, a hand still reached up to try to grab Steve’s.

He could feel the ground coming for him as he looked up at Steve Rogers. This was his best friend, the man that he had protected for so long. Steve had become the man he was meant to be with the muscles and the admiring crowds. A part of Bucky was so proud to see Steve finally recognize himself as worthy of attention and praise. Another felt as if he was losing his best friend but he couldn’t be sad. He had fallen in love with Steve a long time ago and whatever made Steve happy made Bucky happy. As the empty air embraced him and the cold pulled him towards the ground, he trained his eyes on Steve Rogers, on Captain America for the last time.

_Thank God it was me and not you._ This was his final thought, the final moment before he crashed to the ground. A searing pain ran through his left arm and every part of him felt broken. His breath was gone from his body and he closed his eyes, ready to accept death.

* * *

  
Cold slides along his back and he barley manages to open his eyes. The world is blurry and he wants to croak out one name. _Steve._ His mind screams the name over and over. Then there is pain as he looks toward his arm. Blood followed in the snow behind him and voices spoke in German. Then he passed out again.

* * *

  
When he woke again he forgot. He forgot who he was, where he was from and who his best friend was. He reached forward with a desire to kill and crushed the throat of a doctor before being subdued. The last face he saw was that of a German doctor who had haunted his dreams before.

* * *

  
Years went on like this. He was The Winter Soldier, sent out to do missions as governments pleased with great efficiency. Then he was frozen again and he would awake in another decade, another day, a new world. He saw the world grow and change in small ways but never fully comprehended it. He never saw the true changes to the world. Then came the man on the bridge.

The man who stared at him as if his whole world was shattered and was being rebuilt. He stood staring at The Winter Soldier, breathing hard. The world seemed to narrow on him and drown out the people who were screaming and running.

“Bucky?”

One word spoken loud enough only he’d hear.

“Who the hell is Bucky?” The man’s face fell as he spoke and stalked forward to him.

He was brought back to where they would keep him, control him. Yet for the first time in his life, he was confused. The man on the bridge looked familiar. The blond hair, the blue eyes, the face that he felt he could draw in his sleep. They called him Captain America. He was The Winter Soldier’s mission to kill. He couldn’t do it, he couldn’t kill the man. He stared ahead as they tried to question him.

That face kept flashing across his mind. His heart did a running leap as it kept flashing, kept showing. He saw that face smiling at him, felt those hands on his shoulders. Heard a scream…

“That man on the bridge. Who was he?” The words slipped past his lips without a thought. Others thought for him, told him what to do and who to be.

“You met him earlier this week on another assignment.” The other man in front of him said. He didn’t understand. The Winter Solider knew him beyond some assignment he had done.

“I knew him.” That face that was haunting him now flashed in front him. A strange helmet was on his head and he was looking up at him as he spoke that name again. The one that made no sense to The Winter Soldier but felt so right.

The man in front of him started speaking and telling him about all he had done for the world. An uneasy feeling settled in his gut as he thought about the man on the bridge’s face, on whether he would have thought that he contributed to society well.

“But I knew him.” The Winter Soldier said again with more surety and that face came again. He smiled slightly at it, wanting to reach forward and touch his cheek.

He was shoved back roughly onto the seat, a piece of plastic shoved into his mouth and he felt pain run through him again. Then all went blank.

* * *

  
“Best friends since childhood, Bucky Barnes and Steven Rogers were inseparable on both schoolyard and battlefield. Barnes is the only Howling Commando to give his life in service of his country.”

His name was James Buchanan Barnes. From the moment, he had met the scrawny kid who was always ill, he had loved him. Loved him as a best friend and then later loved him in another, different way. His best friend was that scrawny kid who turned into a super soldier. Steve Rogers, Captain America, was his love and his life. And he would do all that he could to protect Steve from himself.


End file.
